How Being a Counselor at Herzl Has Helped Me As A Parent
March 6, 2011 by Herzl Camp Admin, under General Posts, Letters from Alumni.
By Robyn Badiner Bedil
It’s been 11 years since I’ve been on staff at Herzl (when did I get so old!), but those experiences continue to impact on my life on a daily basis. I like to think that I still possess many of the traits that made me the fun-loving, ruach intense counselor that I was back then, but life certainly has changed. Instead of residing in a simple wood cabin with 10+ girls in Webster, Wisconsin, I now live in the suburbs of New York with my husband, my almost 3-year old daughter Emma and we will welcome baby boy into our family this coming May. On the surface, the two situations seem quite different, but I have found that my days of being a counselor at Herzl have helped me tremendously as a parent. It seems like I get a new Facebook message every day about somebody that I was an ozo or on staff with in the late 90s that has become a mom or dad and I wanted to share a few of the lessons that I learned as a Herzl staff member have shaped me as a parent.
Always be ready to go with energy and excitement (even when you may not feel like it)
I never got enough sleep as a Herzl staff member. I remember the dreadful feeling of having your alarm go off at [7am] after only turning out the lights a few hours earlier. It was a challenge to pry open your eyes, let alone think about the campers that were waiting on the other side of the paper thin wall for you to jump start their day. But to those campers, they couldn’t wait to see what amazing thing you had in store for them. It didn’t matter how you felt, you had to get out there and be fabulous. Being a parent feels exactly the same way. When I hear Emma’s footsteps next to my bed at 6am on a Saturday morning (and no – there are no cinnamon rolls waiting downstairs for me), my first thought of “just five more minutes” is quickly taken over by my desire to get up, put on a big smile, and get the day going with excitement and energy.
Instill a love and excitement for Judaism as part of everyday life
One of the most important long-term takeaways from Herzl camp is an appreciation for Judaism. Because Judaism is key part of everyday life at camp, I clearly remember the Jewish songs, traditions, and prayers that I learned and lived at Herzl, but if you ask me to remember anything from my years at hebrew school, I’m at a loss. I am hopeful that establishing traditions and proactively living a Jewish life will instill this same appreciation in my children. Ever since Emma was born, my husband and I have made a concerted effort to have a Shabbat dinner every Friday night. We’re both working parents so our Shabbat dinner deviates from the traditional Matzah ball soup, chicken and potatoes that we all grew to love at Herzl (instead it usually consists of pizza, candles, grape juice, and Challah), but its a special time for us to be together, to think about the week, and to say the blessings. I love that Emma now leads us in the prayers over the candles and Challah. In fact, she has been known to get a bit confused sometimes and start reciting the blessing over the Shabbat candles at birthday parties when a big cake with candles comes out.
Feel free to be silly and re-experience being a kid
Where in the world (besides Herzl) can a person act like a total nut (think Chartreuse Buzzards, Chugim Follies, or almost any ruach session) and be admired for it? The best counselors at Herzl were the ones who got involved in whatever it was that the campers were doing – not the ones that sat on the sidelines during chugim or Tzrif time. The key to having fun as a staff member was to throw yourself into the activities and to act like a kid yourself. One of the best aspects of being a parent is getting to re-experience some of the joys of childhood. Becoming engaged and acting like a kid allows you to have a lot of fun yourself. I’m not one of the mommies that sits on the park bench talking on her cell phone while the kids are playing. Instead, you will find me playing with the kids … going down the slide, running up and down the fields, and singing all of the silly songs. (Note – I understand that in a few years Emma will find this behavior very un-cool so I don’t plan to do this forever).
Sing the Shem’a Before Bedtime
As a camper, I had the pleasure of having Flip Frisch as my Maba counselor before her rise to ruach leader stardom. That meant that every night was a lights out song session with the master and we all loved hearing her sing the Shem’a to us before peacefully falling asleep. Although I don’t have Flip’s voice, I always sang the Shem’a to my campers before heading out for the night and I know that years later, many of them still remember those moments. When I became a parent, I decided to incorporate this tradition into our family and from the day that Emma was born, she has heard the soothing words and beautiful melody of the Shem’a before going to sleep. She now loves to sing the Shem’a with me and it is a beautiful bedtime ritual that I hope will stay with us for many many years.
As a counselor at Herzl, you needed to adapt your style as the summer progressed because the needs of the youngest campers in the 1st session were quite different from those of the teenagers that filled the camp during 3rd session. In the same way, each year of parenting brings new challenges but I know that my Herzl experiences will continue to help me grow and evolve as a parent. I look forward to a day not too far in the future when Emma will be a Herzl camper and begin to experience some of this magic for herself (thanks to her Auntie Alisa “Weesie” Badiner, Emma already now knows the Herzl song by heart).