My Favorite Story as a Camper (Part II)
December 16, 2010 by Herzl Camp Admin, under Letters from Alumni.
By Danny Soshnik
…continued from part 1.
We all made it back in, but we needed to be quiet so as not to tip off to Brick that we were anything but asleep. This proved to be very difficult – we all had stories to share of close calls with other schmears. But we stayed disciplined.
A couple minutes passed, and we thought we were golden. And then, the light turned on in the screened in porch. We could hear the footsteps, and none of us dared move.
In walks Brick. My heart drops as he says, in a mock singing fashion, “Oh Danny Boy.” I fake sleep as he walks over to my bunk. “Why don’t you come with me.” I fake stumble as a recently woken boy out to the Schmear site where Brick, obviously angry and visibly wet (success – we did it!), sits down next to me.
“I was just schmearing, minding my own business. When suddenly I was hit by a water balloon.”
I’m not much of an actor (my partner in crime Bryan, now that’s a different story). And I wasn’t the type of kid who was often in and liked being in trouble. However, on this night, where everything was executed so pefectly, I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel.
I said to Brick, with the straightest emotionless face possible, “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I don’t think he bought it. Busted…or so I thought.
As Brick was about to lay into me, taking me for every minute of Chofesh left in the session, the cry of an angel saved me. Actually it was less of a cry and more of a moan. And it wasn’t an angel – it was Ricky Ofstein. Back spasms. Bad ones. His pain, my gain.
Apparently earlier in the day Brick had given Ricky a bear hug, and threw out Ricky’s back. Funny, because if I were to lift Ricky, I’m sure it would throw out my back.
Anyway, he couldn’t have picked a better time to get spasms. He was in real pain. For anyone who knows Ricky, nothing he does is without dramatic effect. He was, from my perspective, a rockstar that night. And Brick, had to act upon it.
Long story short (too late), Ricky got in the van and went to the hospital. But not before, to add insult to injury, while sitting up in his bed, a super soaker fell from the rafters onto his head.
Just like that, the focus on my personal punishment was long over.
The next day I spoke to my friends across Kadimahland in Trzif Vav, and wondered how Brick knew it was us (me, specifically). Apparently, the water baloon that hit Brick came from the direction of Tzrif Vav. Brick, in his infinite wisdom, went in looking for the most likely culprit. Running into Vav, he screamed, “(Dan) Shapiro, G-D D#^!%IT!”. Dan, being the sellout he is, pleaded “It wasn’t me, it was Soshnik!” Thanks Dan.
As it turns out, we weren’t quite as cleared as we thought we were. We were told at breakfast that right before Nikayon, we had to go to Mary Lou’s office – all of us. I had never been to the director’s office, but safety in numbers, right?
She was none to thrilled. Told us about respect. Being dugmahot for the younger campers. All that stuff. Then, at a quiet, tense moment, Billy Rosenberg farted. Everyone heard it. Everyone, that is, except Mary Lou. Shefren couldn’t contain his laughter. Mary Lou was none too thrilled. She famously quoted, “You’ll never be Deavers!”
Of course, the Deaver program was based on lottery, not on merrit (thank goodness).
In the end, I think we lost chofesh for a night or two. But gained a memory for a lifetime. Oh, and of the 12 of us in tzrif Zayin, 6 went on to be Deavers. And of those 6, all were Ozrim two years later.
What’s the morale of the story? 1) If you’re going to break a rule, it’s best to do so with a moviestar. 2) Your best friends often end up being the ones who live across the way and will sell you out at a moment’s notice. 3) Stay close with those around you and they will bail you out with well-timed pain or flatulence in a desperate time of need.
Shabbat Shalom!
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A Word from the 1999 Tripper, Neer (Far, Wherever You Are…) Lect
March 20, 2010 by Herzl Camp Admin, under Letters from Alumni.
By Neer Lect
Well, here’s a name you haven’t heard for a VERY long time
I will start with a funny situation: I’m a student (yeah, still…) in Tel Aviv University, doing my best to finish my bachelor’s degree, so I can start my masters’ in Archaeology. I used to take the bus from the south side to the university on the north side of the city.
Well, some time ago, on the morning bus to school, I noticed two girls giggling and pointing at me. One of them, a nice, pretty girl, turned and spoke to me in English and asked me “where did you get that shirt from?” Now, I usually don’t pay much attention to the shirt I put on in the morning, if it’s clean enough – it’s ok. I looked down to see the shirt, and noticed that it was my brown “schmutz buster” shirt! My retort was “(stupid smile) I was the 1999 tripper at Herzl” she then said that she was at Herzl Camp one year later, and said something about either being an Ozo or staff, at which point we had to disembark the bus and parted. It also made me realize how much time had passed, and how Herzl alters you, in ways you do not always realize.
The summer I spent at Herzl was unique in more ways than one. First and foremost, it was the first (and last) time I was in the US. Secondly, it was the how I was plunged head first into what you can call “American culture” which, like “military intelligence” and “Israeli politeness” is a contradiction in terms. Editor’s Note: Ouch. At times it was like facing a different surprise every day. From the worn out Chevy Suburban (Ricky Ofstein said I’m a hick for putting the keys in the visor – I asked him what’s a hick?), Editor’s Note: Does that make you the Terminator and Ricky, John Conner? to the Herzl code that combines Hebrew and English in to a kind of synergetic “Hebrish” or “Englew”. From heavy due (always on the Kadimah canoe trip) and never, EVER, say announcements … ddon’t utter that word in the chadar or you’ll be thrown in the lake
It was, after all, 1999. The new Star Wars Phantom Menace movie had just been released, everyone was playing with toy light-sabers. In one of the first 12 Gates sketches, I was told to play a character called “Darth Neer,” and had to lift Scott Kaminsky in the air. Editor’s Note: Is that shomer shabbas? Also, it was 2 years before 9/11, and when I suggested to then-director Steve Mintz that we are not very well protected with a front gate that is always open … well; homeland security wasn’t so much on the minds I guess, was it? Editor’s Note: Neer, my friend, if only you knew the tactics worthy of the Secret Service employed at camp today
To tell you the truth, most of the time I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Sometimes, the impact I left was not exactly what I wished it to be (a certain incident concerning flag respect comes to mind) Editor’s Note: Don’t worry Neer, we haven’t forgotten that unforgettable speech either. But I think the other staff members were appreciative of the causes. I was lucky to meet a great bunch of people that accepted all 5 of us Israelis as an organic part of camp staff. For myself, I can testify that even in 11 years of retrospect, I remember names and faces, prayers and songs, situations that are etched (in a good way) to the mind, and that will always put a smile on my face
If any of you made, are making, or will make Aliyah, remember – you have a place here. You always had.
Yours Truly,
Neer (far, wherever you are) Lect (1999 Tripper),
Israel.
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Herzl Magic Bracket: Round 2, Vakedma Region
February 25, 2010 by Herzl Camp Admin, under Uncategorized.
By Danny Soshnik
As you may know, a couple months ago, we launched the “Herzl Magic” Bracket. In a “March Madness”-like bracket, the goal is to discuss and ultimately vote on what makes Herzl so special. I discussed the Yama region’s first round match-ups here and today will dissect the Vakedma Region. I want your votes, as my commentary is just a starting point and hopefully not the final determinant.
1 Shabbos Caravan
16 “Swimming” Before Shir Hamalot
This is a classic #1 vs #16 match-up. You basketball fans out there know that a #16 has never upset a #1, and it isn’t likely to happen here. I’ve always thought the swimming was slightly entertaining, but the real question is why we are ever swaying in the first place. The preceding song, “Hiney Ni Muchan,” isn’t pretty enough to warrant swaying, is it? I always thought swaying was for the Debbie Freedman Havdallah or something else truly beautiful. Danny’s Prediction: The big White Snake
8 Thursday Night Cookouts
9 Fish Stick/Chicken Nugget Eating Contests
This is a classic match-ups. On the one hand you have a great break from the grind of the normal week at camp. Giving the kitchen staff a night off and getting to watch some poor Madrich struggle with charcoal and undercooked hotdogs while trying to keep the Frisbee out of the fire is great But, so are the eating contests. Intermittently banned at camp, the eating contests allowed the boys to separate themselves from, well, the other boys. Didn’t a Puchtel eat almost 100? [Editor's Note: The epic Puchtel vs. Puchtel nugget battle of 2000 may go down in history as the single most amazing chicken consumption experience of all time]. I’d like an update on the current records. My personal record? I almost finished 1 fish stick in 1997. Gross. Danny’s Prediction: For me, it’s a toss up.
5 Kitchen Raids
12 Hazak V’almatz
Truth be told, I don’t know how either of these have changed in the modern (New Chadar) era. Not sure if the kitchen is “raidable” and I would assume Hazak V’almatz is still done, but the new acoustics may have changed things [Editor's Note: A new Chadar is no match for creative staff and hardware stores that replicate keys]. I remember my first kitchen raid vividly. It was an all-boys Machaneh raid, led by David Schwartz in 1990. We successfully snuck in through the Chiri Bim window and took all kinds of good stuff. Then we heard Mary Lou in the distance and made a beeline for the Sifriyah. Hiding in the dark, we heard Schwartzie get chewed out and fired on the spot. Boys were crying. Ricky Ofstein peed in his pants. But, alas, it was a joke. Amazing fun. It should be noted that there was a way to actually sneak into the kitchen involving climbing over shelves near Chadar Bet. We were taught it my Deaver summer in 1993, and we took literally everything in sight. What we needed a 5 pound tub of mayo in our Cabin for is beyond me. Hazak V’almatz is one of those traditions that you have no idea what it means, where it came from, or why we do it. For all we know, it means “I’m an idiot and here’s why…” Some of them were creative and funny, but more often than not, the cabin leading couldn’t coordinate 12 voices into one and make coherent sense. Danny’s Prediction: This one has to go to the raids.
4 Tzrif Introductions in Ulam
13 Rhythmic Clapping between Lists of Peoples’ Names
There is never a time in the summer with more energy than the Tzrif introductions. Not even when Bikkurim is announced. Remember your first summer, sitting there, slightly to totally overwhelmed by all this singing and dancing? Wondering which crazy counselor would be yours? Hoping they wouldn’t forget to call your name? The rhythmic clapping is another one that I have no idea where it came from. It has evolved. It used to be a clap in between the names. Then Jesse Simon made an art form of it and read the lists in an almost rap-like manner to fit the words around the clapping. Then the clapping took over and didn’t go between the words but concurrently with them, making the speaker virtually worthless because nobody could hear. [Editor's Note: Or my personal favorite, Ross Tulman version which would simply have him nonchalantly request to "hold all applause until the end"]. Danny’s Prediction: I like the clapping but I love the introductions.
6 Knock Knock
11 Shake your Booty
Knock Knock is a newer tradition (I think early 90s) during Saturday lunch. Not sure where it came from but I’m pretty sure it involved Marc Warren. It got the creative juices flowing for the 30 or so kids near the two yellers on either side of the Chadar.
“Hey Marc Warren!”
“Hey What!”
“Knock Knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“Owl”
“Owl who?”
“Owl bet you’re not reading this Blog!”
“OKAY!”
Shake your Booty is noise pollution – ruach for the sake of ruach. Don’t get me wrong. I have asked more people to shake their booty in my lifetime than I have to shake my hand. But it’s not uniquely Herzl at all, and doesn’t compare with Knock Knock. Danny’s Prediction: Okaaaaaaaaaaay!
3 Ozo Play
14 Announcements
The Ozo Play is great. An opportunity to make fun of the staff, while making campers believe they know what the skit is about. The best scenes were always the improv ones. As a staff member it was always entertaining to see the Ozrim imitate you. Larry Stein did the best Danny Soshnik impersonation ever in 1996. Announcements would be better if ANYONE knew the words [Editor's Notes: To fix this very real problem, recent years have actually had the Ozrim teach the song to campers every year at least once]. It’s not uniquely Herzl and now it’s just yell “Announcements” and sing a couple words and get the speaker wet. Not uber creative.
7 Morning Music and Dancing
10 Mega Lunch
I want to make it clear that I am old school and have always thought breakfast is about the Ozrim rising to the ruach occasion while the rest of camp sleep walks. It always drove me crazy when an Ozo group would play music so loud that campers couldn’t even converse. David Schlosberg and I challenged many a boom box to a ruach contest and I’ll have you know that we never lost. But something good happened over time – like any good Herzl tradition, the boom box evolved. The music drowning out conversation has been replaced by elaborate all-camp dances … Amazing. Also, I love mega lunch. From the reading of the airport bus list, to the lost and found, to the song session countdown, this lunchathon seemed to last for two hours. I know that on my final day at camp, there’s nothing I’d rather do than sit in an overcrowded, hot, smelly Chadar. Who need Chugim or Minucha when you can have mega lunch?
2 Flag Songs
15 Elbows on the Table
This one is almost as easy as the first match-up. Flag songs are amazing. It used to be that some cabins did flag songs, and others did Israeli dancing at the flag circle after caravan. Then someone wised up and realized how great flag songs are. I remember many of the songs I helped write and sang. Drives my (non-Herzl) wife crazy every time I hear one on the radio and sing my own lyrics. Elbows on the table is like shake your booty. It’s not really Herzl. It’s noise pollution, but it does break up the routine. Anyone else remember when Bobby Shapiro (Fun Bobby) tried to convince camp that we were singing the elbows song incorrectly? His version went something like, “Right elbow up. Down! Left elbow up. Down!” That was in 1995, my Ozo summer. Guess who played Fun Bobby (brilliantly, I might add) in my Ozo play? Danny’s Prediction: “Ha’atid, we’re Leaving, we’ll be back … next summer” (to the tune of Free Falling)
So there you have it. I don’t see major upset potential in this region, but I’d love your opinions and stories! Please leave comments below with your votes!
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Top 10 Herzl Camp Program Sessions
January 7, 2010 by Herzl Camp Admin, under Top 10 Lists.
By Michael Neiman
Herzl Camp is no youngster. For over 60 years, Devil’s Lake and Webster, Wisconsin have been a summertime home for Jewish people all over country. The programming is top-quality, the staff are incredible, the food is … well, its camp’s food and over time you learn to crave it. However, one of the unique things that Herzl does quietly from year to year, is evaluate the success of their programs and what can be improved for future summers. As a Business Consultant, I applaud Herzl Camp’s administration over thee years in their attempts to revamp camp programs and provide fresh and exciting opportunities to kids year after year. The age of “machane” being the only program you attend for 6 years is long gone, replaced with specialized and creative programs catered to the current trends and needs of new generations.
To honor the years and pay tribute to the best programs of the past and present, I give you my Top 10 list of Herzl Program Sessions. I realize the pool to choose from was not all-inclusive, as my time at Herzl didn’t start until 1992, but I hope you enjoy and welcome additonal “honorable mentions”:
10. Tzofim. Kudos to Erin Cohen and Skyler Werde for taking 120 campers camping and Horseback riding at once. Tzofim took over where Etgar and Nisiya failed, buy providing something unique yet broad for incoming 7th and 8th graders. Tzofim has changed a bit since 2005, but the problem of how to provide the best program for bar-mitzvah aged kids seems to have been answered for now.
9. K’shishim. I only have to wait 50 years and then I can be a camper again? Sign me up!
8. Etgar. The first year they offered this program for incoming 8th graders, it was directed by Aaron Cukier and Ricky Ofstein. Need I say more?
7. B’yachad. I wasn’t in B’yachad, but I was always their “eat-in” staff member. Each year, the oldest campers at camp prove their heart and soul and dedication to Theo by giving back to camp and giving back to the community. To be honest though, the best part of B’yachad is the ongoing ending to its song. This summer will be the 21st session of B’yachad … do they still sing out all the original endings back to 1995′s “Do that do that, do that do that, do that do that, until it diiiiiiies out!”
6. Maba. Fifteen years later, and I was still able to get a cabin of hungry campers to sing the Maba theme song during lunch one day. Sure this program included programming from the Talmud Torah’s play-book, but there is a dedication to this program that no one can explain. And the song will forever live on… Maba’im, Kadimah Maba’im. Hey Hey!
5. Kadimah. Another long-lasting program at camp, incoming 9th graders learn to bond together as one group for the first time at camp. Canoe trips, musical renditions, planning their first Shabbat … these are just a few of the great activities this growing tight-knit group of campers get to experience together.
4. N’divim. They were the first B’yachad. Incoming 10th graders spent 6 weeks building things around camp, sporting their baby blue scrubs, and singing one of the best program songs ever written. Not sure who we have to thank for it, but I always loved the opening line … “We are the N’divim, a part of Herzl’s dream!” (having never been a Diver, I never knew the rest of it…)
3. Teva Trek - Thank you Flip Frisch and Aaron Gelperin for creating an INCREDIBLE new twist on true “camping” at Herzl Camp. A more outdoor educational based program with true camping, hiking, backpacking, white-water rafting, cooking outside and more. When I created the Teen Leadership Camp at Capital Camps (my mysterious summer away from Herzl), I mirrored it off this program because of how jealous I was of the kids who got to be a camper on it back home. It’s never had huge numbers, but 10 years later it is still an option for incoming 10th/11th graders at camp.
2. Taste of Herzl. I’ve said for years, I’ll say it again. Taste is the BEST program to be assigned as a counselor. Adorable great kids who are away at camp for the first time. It was only a week long, but nothing beats having to physically feed, dress and bath your campers as if they were your own children. Emotions run high from the campers, but I bet most beg to come back the second they get home.
1. Ozrim. The oldest remaining program to date at camp. It started out as more of a manual labor group than CIT program, but the years have done this program well. Each summer, campers dream and pray for their chance to be picked as an Ozo, and each summer a solid group of Ozrim learn and grow to a point which would rival actual staff of most summer camps across the nation.
Honorable Mentions:
- Nisiya - any program that makes kids do a death-march through downtown Siren in 90 degree weather deserves mention.
- Nilakot - It never found a way to compete with N’divim/B’yachad, but providing the extra opportunity for campers in 9th/10th grade to be at Herzl camp is a must.
- Ha’atid - The future! It came, it left, it came back again. Ha’atid was the first attempt to revolutionize the “Machane” years at camp into a solid program.
- Chalutzim/Noar - I don’t know enough about these programs, but I know they are doing well and have changed what Ha’atid used to be into a solid opportunity for young campers to experience camp differently each year and have an identify to a program earlier than Kadimah.